Livin' the somnambulant life

I've been trying more valiantly than you might think to get myself here and update to no avail. Until today!

School is awesome. And scary. And exhausting, boring, amazing, strange and at times, disgusting as hell. In the last 5 weeks, I've surprised myself with how strong I am and thank my mom every morning for ingraining in me so hard the ability to face the hardest of situations with humor. I also love the camaraderie we've been building up. It helps to start reaching that comfort zone with people you see all the effing time.

I had a rough start, due in part to my stubborn insistence that I could help myself study as well as drain my own small pool of stores trying to help everyone around me that was helplessly drowning instead of treading water as I was. Last week, I had to have a self-intervention and let my friends know that while I would do everything I could to help them, we all had to figure out a different methodology. I was the only one prepping outlines, doing flash cards, the whole nine. Essentially, I was killing myself and not having any time to study on my own. I'm all for the group dynamic, but it wasn't working. So, I ease up a bit and bam! 95% on both my Pharmacology and Fundamentals tests! I feel like I've finally hit my stride now.

I started clinicals about two weeks ago. It's in a medium-sized hospital known in my city for not exactly being...the best in a lot of areas. Still, it's exciting to actually apply things we're talking about in class. I'm always especially exhausted after clinicals (our day lasts 9-10 hours), but am so awed by all that I've already seen. Last week, we talked about bruits/thrills in class; a couple of days later, my friend was assigned a patient with an A-V graft. The poor man had everyone from my class shuffling into his room, but he said he liked the attention. I tied my first restraints, did a very elementary assessment and have learned a lot about classroom training to real world doing. It's really neat. And luckily, I've worked with very patient and helpful nurses. One had graduated about a year ago and was giving me some excellent advice.

So, it's really worth the lack of time and the realization that I've no clue what day it is or the near-constant fatigue. Or that I'm verging on irritation or tears at least a couple times a day. I'm such a nerd right now. So, give me some caffeine and I'll go. : )